Dear, World. Love, Jenny.

Jedi thoughts, MD diaries and Random geekiness

WHAT THE HEY! WHAT A STARTER. — July 8, 2009

WHAT THE HEY! WHAT A STARTER.

/Jen_Eongrey/Leave a comment

*what’s a starter? ahaha. word imbention.
pfft. forget it. let me just write another set of my random thoughts now:

*the world suddenly became chaotic to the extreme. believe me, i’m not talking metaphors here. it is really kaye-yo-tic with an X.

*THAT PLACE! it drives me insane. it causes me sleepless nights. people THERE are getting really unbelievable. i used to always believe in the goodness of man, but what the hey! i can’t just do that right now anymore. its like hungry wolves (who have finally stripped off their sheep-like costumes) are waiting on you everyday to be their prey.

*there are people who, after having gone up to where they are now, forgot to sincerely say a simple “thank you” to the one who helped and pushed them up.

*there are people who would remember you only when they need you.

*there are some friendships which would just shatter even without really understanding and knowing why. TRUE FRIENDS ARE OUT OF STOCK THESE DAYS.

*Shame on you.

*there are some things that i am not proud of lately. that includes this and that.

*somebody sweet wants to be a surgeon.

*i am thinking. oh yeah. i am thinking of that KISS.

*blast THAT place.that same place i was talking about.

*i have something to ask you. are you in love right now?

*this post is chaotic. chaotic random thoughts.

*save the world from these mayabang earthlings.

*and please tell those earthlings to at least learn and speak good english.

*ive gone mad. and bad. spank me. ugh.

*hard times…….yeah. just chaotic, stressful, hard times.

*it is just that or those or this or these.

*bad starter.

*but what the hey! who cares? i still got YOU. oh yes, i do! :p

RANDOM THOUGHTS — May 21, 2009

RANDOM THOUGHTS

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*do not learn by messing up. i mean, learn the right way (and dont make learning an excuse). because sometimes, when you mess up, you really mess it up. you don’t get second chances even if you’re sorry….. which maybe the only thing that you’d learn — that YOU can’t mess up like that again.

*when you decide to move forward, you go straight ahead. and if you cant, you probably would know what to do. hahahaha.

*most people want to write because they’re sad. that could be true because feelings would stalk people…and that’s their way of letting all emotions go…. but some, like students, would write because they were asked to (compositions, homework,assignments, you know…), and you dont find some sad feelings there. what you find is that they don’t learn anything from technical or creative writing, and they cannot even identify a semicolon from their rectal colons. ugh! ahahaha.

*i haven’t been into a bank for a while now. not even an atm. that’s kinda sad. because that only means i dont go to a bank to deposit, neither to an atm to withdraw. money, of course. bottomline, i am broke.

*i’m scared of some things now. do not ask me what im afraid of because i wouldn’t tell. if i wanted to, i should’ve written them all here. so just be satisfied with the first line, eh?

*i am going to try to be a better “ma’am jen”. i can be better. can be better at handling distractions. whatever they may be.

*when i say you back off, you better back off.

*the world is moving in slow motion now but my mind is in a whirl. ugh. vacation. look what you are doing to me. haha.

*the world’s first song is dreams by cranberries. :p

*my computer clock says it is 12:05 am. GMT+8. that means i have to hit the bed now. ill continue this next time…..

Rainy Days & Favourite Days — May 3, 2009

Rainy Days & Favourite Days

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It is raining now. I love rain, unlike other people (they usually hate it when it rains). But hey, raining means that nature is also just fulfilling its role, just like when the sun shines or flowers bloom or leaves fall…

But I don’t see rain as part of the planet’s many process.es I see it as an opportunity — to walk comfortably with the one you love and get wet (in the rain); or a chance to just stay inside, sit in the couch with someone you miss for a long time and have a nice intellectual conversation. Sigh………. I really love rain and rainy days.

If ever I get the chance to choose to transform into anything, I would choose to be the RAIN. (._.)

UPDATE-Whatever’s — May 2, 2009

UPDATE-Whatever’s

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From time to time i get these update-calls, update-texts, update-mails. Update-whatever’s. You know, how i’ve been or how i am lately. the how-are-you’s. those stuff. from everybody– college buddies, previous boss, previous classmates, students, barkada, him, her, them, earthlings and non-earthlings.

Funny how you can’t really say something or do it — update. to the true sense of the word. Telling them what you are doing lately, like what your current job is, may be accepted as an update. but i know that is not enough. When people ask me how i am doing now, i give them answers which are like a template already — “Im okay, still teaching here in Bicol” and then i throw them the update-question back. What’s even more funny is, you get a template-answer from them, too. Ugh!

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*changes come to us every now and then. And when people ask you to update them with the changes you made in your life, maybe it’s better if from time to time, you really give them more than just facts or details. Go beyond the templates. Let them feel that you still want them to be a part of your life even if you’re now too far away. Maybe, just maybe, when you do this, you’ll get better update-answers back. Why don’t you try and do that starting today, Jen? (._.)

Well, here’s the latest update: I’m not dead. Yey! hahahahahahahaha.

THOUGHTS ON (FALSE) RAINY DAYS —

THOUGHTS ON (FALSE) RAINY DAYS

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You thought you forgot all about them, but surprise, surprise……

you know how hard it is to selectively forget some things in your life? well, let me tell you this: it is not hard to do that — if you really want to forget something, i mean, if you really CHOOSE to forget something, YOU WILL.

And then for quite some time, your memory is free of those worth-forgetting stuff. And it will make you feel good, make you think you are a better person, as if bitterness and ugliness and flaws-like-that are peeled of from your self.

But there will be times when the world will ask you to remember them again. And suddenly, you’ll feel a big thump in your chest, and a wooden chest would appear in front of you. The world will ask you (for some very very important reasons) to unlock and open the chest. And you will open it. Justify Full
There will be times when you will really CHOOSE to open it again. Because the world gives you a very good reason to do so. And when you do, those memories you chose to forget will come to you and curse you and repeat words to your ears like “…i knew you would still let us out, pea-brain”

…..and soon after opening the chest, you’ll somehow feel good for doing THAT for the world…..but you’ll end up remembering everything again…so partly, you’ll feel good…but maybe a bigger part would make you feel whatever ugly feeling you had then (which made you want to forget them in the first place)…..i call this feeling “mixed nuts”….can’t really describe that feeling. like it is “UGHness“.

So yeah, you thought you forgot all about them, but surprise…surprise… you’re back to choosing to forget about them again.

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*I choose to forget some things again and again. I just don’t want to cling to what was of the past… i don’t want to be so clingy anymore. I am at my best “now” — I mean i like myself best, now. I’ve grown up already. Not jenny, miss clingy. So it is best if i live the present, with this memory that is capable of burning memories or selectively forgetting them.