i started the semester with a pop. literally. >_<
i started the semester with a pop. literally. >_<
i started the semester with a pop. literally. >_<
if you wouldn’t be saying good night to me again now, then i just have to wait for the sun to wake you up and greet me with your lines, perhaps…
you see, i’m a bit off today…i watched a good movie but it just made me feel worse.
i realized something from that movie. sometimes, people would see those things that they wanted to see. they don’t look closer. they don’t look at the whole thing. i also learned that sometimes we expect for things to happen in life. we do not hope for what is real.
if things would go on like this, then i guess we’ll all get hurt and all messed up.
hmm…did i expect you to say good night?
well….never mind. its okay. good night, jen. you wait for the sun.
*i hate it when people react with just what is in front of them. when they don’t even try looking from another perspective. if the world gets mad at me because i cannot be there everytime it needs me, this is what i’ve got to say: try being in my shoes sometimes. and maybe the world would finally understand.
*i think i am going to believe what grey said — those who suffer most are those people who never know what they want.
*people come. people go. people leave. you know the difference between “GO” and “LEAVE”?
*going and leaving is also associated with giving up. you give up, you go. or you give up, you leave. what’s the difference again?
*i used to give up easily. specially on myself. when i’m in great pain. but this time, it’s different. i don’t want to give up. because if i do, that means i’m giving up on every single soul that still believes in me, everyone who needs me, everyone who loves me, and i don’t want to give up on that someone who must also be trying hard to hold on and breath for me.
*geez…yeah. that’s my ending… geez…
right now, i don’t know why i’m still doing this teacher thing…i guess my idealistic views of being in this profession is starting to fade out… student learning is still on top of my list, but what the hey, sometimes, though you work really hard for that goal, some things would really get into your nerves and push you to your limits until you just give up and leave without even a bit of hesitation.
im still here. because i can still tell myself to get up and go to class. but i don’t know until when i could do this…things like, preparing my lessons thirty minutes before the time…or not being able to check papers since day one….i feel lousy. but i’m not giving up….because i know even if i work or teach in THIS PLACE, i am still not rotten……….
to my student,
i didn’t mean what i said. you didnt ask stupid questions. (maybe) i’m the one who was stupid. stupid enough to tell you to stop asking. because maybe that’s how you learn — you ask, and i answer back by explaining the lesson. not by yelling at you.
im sorry. i was just really tired that day — they say that not-so-good teachers use this for an excuse. well, (maybe) it may be true for most cases. but for pete’s sake, i was really really really tired that day…
hmmm… what the hey! right now, i want to believe that apologizing here tells me that i can still be a good person, if not a very good teacher all the time. sigh…………..and more sighs.
P.S.
i even asked you to see me after class or during your free time so i could tutor you if you like. you should’ve just told me you’d be fine and can handle it by yourself. why do you have to keep silent and just stare at me and waited for those tears to fall? how cruel could that be. hrmph. damn it. i think mushy people shouldn’t teach. those kids would just break your heart every time. hmp. hrrrmph…
Dear, World. Love, Jenny. 