Dear, World. Love, Jenny.

sometimes there’s no one else there but your self. to tell you that you are wrong. that you go overboard. that you think and feel so much and it just makes you think and feel so much more that is why you really go overboard and you do or say something wrong.

i don’t understand myself tonight. i feel like i don’t have that thing that says come here, you little fly. and not start the sentence with “oh, come on…” and ends with nothing but a dot.

sometimes i get hurt.

just because i’m whiny and stupid and mushy and wrong and i go overboard.

and i couldn’t do anything but to tell myself to stop being whiny and stupid and everything. and then i try hard to listen to myself so i stop being whiny and all and i end up still being hurt because im longing for that “come here, you little fly” sweet thing.

sigh. am i such a baby.

and baby needs to grow up now.

Hanep.

Parang slideshow lang ang 3.5 years. Ambilis. Pero parang 500GB sa dami ng laman. Simula ng presentation — andun ako. Andun ka rin. Akalain mo yun?

Andun ako. Nagtuturo lang ng wonders & shits ng mundo. Andun ka rin, ini-explore ang same shits and wonders ng planet. Tapos tini-textmate natin amg isa’t-isa tungkol sa mga yun. Nagtetennis tayo ng mga stupid questions and even more stupid answers. Tapos yun na yun. Ang paminta ng araw, gabi, maghapon, magdamag natin.

 Marami akong ginagawa sa buhay nun. Busy-busyhan. Pero kinalimutan ko na yun. Ikaw. Naaalala ko ang mga bagay na ikinatuwa at hinangaan ko sayo mula nung simula:

kulang pa yan. pero akala mo nauubusan ako ng mga bagay na kahanga-hanga sayo? hindi. eh hindi ka rin naman kasi tumitigil maging isang maganda at mabuting tao.

 to hell with organized flow of thoughts, basta si-segway ako: nagagalak ako. nagagalak akong isipin kung pano mo ako awayin este lambingin kapag busy ako at akala mo nakakalimutan kita. nakakatuwa ang mga pagkakataong napagtatanto ko ang aking pagkakamali na hindi mo ko kailangang pagsalitaan ng mali o masakit. nakakatuwang isipin na sabay tayong tumatanda at natututo ng lahat nga ng mga shits and wonders sa ibabaw ng mundo.

*yung nagsusulat ka sa Unibe. yung sakto lang na pagkakasulat, hindi OA, may dating o tama, may maling itinatama, may patama.

*ang pagkakaroon mo ng maraming pangarap at ng maraming kaisipan at kagustuhang makahanap ng paraan upang abutin ang mga nabuo at naidrawing na mga pangarap sa buhay-buhayan notebook mo.

*hindi ka katulad ng mga tao sa paligid mo. na nakiki-ride on sa achievements/popularity ng iba.

*hindi mo pinapatulan ang mga taong pa-prinsesa kung umarte, ang mga taong may manchausen syndrome kunwari, ang mga taong tinubuan ng mala-hot air balloon na ulo sa kayabangan, ang mga taong akala mo sila lang ang anak ng diyos, mga taong kung saktan ka ay akala mo hindi mo itinuring na totoong kaibigan at kapatid.

*hindi ka vain (ako lang). hindi ka mediocre (sila lang).

*marami kang “new stuff”. (hindi materyal na bagay kundi kaisipan).

*hindi ka napapagod na subukang initindihin ang mundo ko (parang abnoy lang eh noh?). hindi ka napapagod na bigyan ako ng pangalawang pagkakataon at mas marami pa, para lang maging mas mabuting tao ako.

 Hanep.

Antaba ng puso ko. Dahil sayo. Kung alam ko lang ang direct translation to tagalog ng salitang PROUD ay sinulat ko na dito -> ________ with the biggest font size ever, italicized, bold, underlined.

PROUD ako. na nakilala kita. na kasama kita sa the good, the bad and the ugly episodes ng buhay. na nagpapakatatag ka. nangungulit. nangangarap. nagmamahal ng totoo, wagas at sobra-sobra.

This is technical stuff. i mean, not the kind of tips you get from concerned upper class men.

1. Attend activities required for freshies (that’s you) and at least five programs/activities the whole semester. the Dean and OSA Coordinator require this. Its a very important tool to have your clearances signed. Apart from just getting your clearances signed, these activities would help you in one way or another. Besides, the school wouldn’t have them if there’s no point or sense of having them at all.

2. Attend flag-raising ceremonies. It’s held every monday morning ( around 7:15am) at the bupc grounds in front of the admin building where you find the flag pole (duh!). Again, the Dean requires this. As far as i know, he asks students to attend the ceremony five times (the least). And again, it is a very important tool to have your clearances signed at the end of the semester.

3. Know the BU Hymn by heart. You’d know why as you go on with your college life. It’s also a part of #2.

4. Keep your COR (green form). Your professors would check if you are officially enrolled in their classes. You also need it to have your ID’s processed. Still need it in paying your school accounts and the like.

5. Don’t mess with the school guards. Follow the rules or else you’d be sent home and miss your classes.

6. Wednesdays are considered a “wash day”. As in wash your uniform day. So you get to wear “civilian” clothes or anything pamporma as long as they’re decent and wont distract anyone in school or would find yourself inside the guidance center. [so might as well follow the dress code, kiddo].

7. Vandalism is a big no-no. You wont escape the spy cams around the campus. Seriously.

8. Uno (1.0) is the highest grade you can receive. I mean its the best grade you could possibly get. Singko (5.0) is your worst nightmare. As in epic fail.

9. Try to avail your internet priveleges without mocking the ICMT staff or it’s system. Wait for your turn. And when i say you wait, you wait patiently. The ICMT is doing everything to be able to cater all the students’ multimedia needs like internet surfing.

10. test papers are supposed to be free. but when the risograph is broken, you might be asked to pay 0.50 cents per page. the school doesn’t have a blue book also. you will be requested to bring ruled papers (almost everytime, yellow in color) or bond papers to serve as your answer sheets.

11. Get a hold of the handbook. OSA will provide you a copy. Read it. Take note of the rules. Learn things you need if you’re aspiring to be an honor student. Know the sanctions if you happen to be planning to ‘spice up’ your college life —- but if i were you, don’t even think about it. there’s no detention in this campus but there’s the office with the pink blinds.

12. you can charge your laptop and cellphone up on the plugs found in the hallways. just don’t block the way.

13. know your professor’s class rules. some would allow you to eat inside the room, some wouldn’t. some would still ask you to stand up when reciting, some wouldn’t. there are a lot of these would and wouldn’ts so just listen and follow every rule, every sem. LOL.

14. Try to be as civilized as possible. Don’t forget to flush. Students’ CR always stink like you never want to inhale and exhale again.

15. You are here to learn and be educated. Bring your brain with you always. If you happen to forget it, improvise, or try to grow some.

16. dont call me ATE. i happen to teach here.

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that’s all i can remember right now. will give some more
next time. good luck freshies. welcome to the jungle.