gusto ko sasabihin din ng mundo na MAGALING ako. katulad din pag sinasabing ang galing niya, ang galing nila.
Category: work
Everything, even the things we can’t touch or crush or expand are all in a rush. That even stress is wearing out itself, and things like slowing down or sleeping are scarce and are on the verge of getting extinct.
Lately, i wake up past my call time. My alarm clock would always give up on me and snooze off by itself and leave me there in my bed.
Maybe the world is like this when you’re always busy at work — everything is half-baked, or in a fifty-fifty basis, or in an alternating half-empty, half-full perspectives. half alive. half-dead.
With the exception of love, everything is like this lately. i can’t seem to optimize my thoughts. My brain can process things but I’m not sure how I was able to comprehend the whole thing. This goes in cycle, but what i feel is constant — I am tired. I go to bed exhausted, wake up still feeling tired, go through the day feeling weary, go home feeling heavy, then the entire cycle goes in unending repetitions.
Maybe you can call me a drag queen now — because I literally drag myself everyday to work and try so hard to get by and finish work.
I usually claim that I am a Master Jedi. That I am a superhero called EonGrey. But for some days, I am just Jenny, like Clark Kent to every episode of Superman. And I get weak when work becomes a tangible thing like kryptonite. And for hard times like these, I slow down and whine and even cry my exhausted self to sleep.
today i took a bus for my ride home. and for the first time, my thoughts didn’t fly into random places or didn’t feast on things that are real but doesn’t exist in my life at present or even in my past. no day dreaming this time. no lip-syncing with the songs on my phone’s playlist (imagining myself performing in a band, in front of many people i really don’t know). i do that. i make a mental picture of things i want to do, and then i feel proud about myself. yes, i actually do ‘things’ like that. but not today.
today i held on tight to reality. for once i am not the attention deficit person who looks at the road and see it as a 2-dimensional map under a magnifying lens. today i watched the road and noticed its inconsistent make-up of alternating cement and asphalt. i saw the rice fields that turned into a piece of vast grassy lands which then served as a temporary stop for migratory birds. i saw the power lines,too. On ‘normal’ days i see them dancing, but today with them, i saw physics. i saw technology.
today i knew i was lousy in class. because today was just another trying to get by episode. i know life can be bitchy and harsh and sarcastic and all, but at the end of the day? the world would forgive it.
how about me?
[LOUSY].
am i?
oh well. then crucify me.
*what’s a starter? ahaha. word imbention.
pfft. forget it. let me just write another set of my random thoughts now:
*the world suddenly became chaotic to the extreme. believe me, i’m not talking metaphors here. it is really kaye-yo-tic with an X.
*THAT PLACE! it drives me insane. it causes me sleepless nights. people THERE are getting really unbelievable. i used to always believe in the goodness of man, but what the hey! i can’t just do that right now anymore. its like hungry wolves (who have finally stripped off their sheep-like costumes) are waiting on you everyday to be their prey.
*there are people who, after having gone up to where they are now, forgot to sincerely say a simple “thank you” to the one who helped and pushed them up.
*there are people who would remember you only when they need you.
*there are some friendships which would just shatter even without really understanding and knowing why. TRUE FRIENDS ARE OUT OF STOCK THESE DAYS.
*Shame on you.
*there are some things that i am not proud of lately. that includes this and that.
*somebody sweet wants to be a surgeon.
*i am thinking. oh yeah. i am thinking of that KISS.
*blast THAT place.that same place i was talking about.
*i have something to ask you. are you in love right now?
*this post is chaotic. chaotic random thoughts.
*save the world from these mayabang earthlings.
*and please tell those earthlings to at least learn and speak good english.
*ive gone mad. and bad. spank me. ugh.
*hard times…….yeah. just chaotic, stressful, hard times.
*it is just that or those or this or these.
*bad starter.
*but what the hey! who cares? i still got YOU. oh yes, i do! :p
Dear, World. Love, Jenny. 