you know how hard it is to selectively forget some things in your life? well, let me tell you this: it is not hard to do that — if you really want to forget something, i mean, if you really CHOOSE to forget something, YOU WILL.

And then for quite some time, your memory is free of those worth-forgetting stuff. And it will make you feel good, make you think you are a better person, as if bitterness and ugliness and flaws-like-that are peeled of from your self.

But there will be times when the world will ask you to remember them again. And suddenly, you’ll feel a big thump in your chest, and a wooden chest would appear in front of you. The world will ask you (for some very very important reasons) to unlock and open the chest. And you will open it.
There will be times when you will really CHOOSE to open it again. Because the world gives you a very good reason to do so. And when you do, those memories you chose to forget will come to you and curse you and repeat words to your ears like “…i knew you would still let us out, pea-brain”

…..and soon after opening the chest, you’ll somehow feel good for doing THAT for the world…..but you’ll end up remembering everything again…so partly, you’ll feel good…but maybe a bigger part would make you feel whatever ugly feeling you had then (which made you want to forget them in the first place)…..i call this feeling “mixed nuts”….can’t really describe that feeling. like it is “UGHness“.

So yeah, you thought you forgot all about them, but surprise…surprise… you’re back to choosing to forget about them again.

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*I choose to forget some things again and again. I just don’t want to cling to what was of the past… i don’t want to be so clingy anymore. I am at my best “now” — I mean i like myself best, now. I’ve grown up already. Not jenny, miss clingy. So it is best if i live the present, with this memory that is capable of burning memories or selectively forgetting them.