Sometimes I want to curse them to their faces, but I think teachers are not allowed to do that. (Are they?) Haha, why am I not sure about it? Aren’t teachers human,too? Don’t they get mad like everybody else and have a license to curse all they want?

Last sem, I had the best students (uh, so far, they were the best, hehe)…and last sem was my first time… first time to teach, first time to be called “ma’am” (it used to scare me to death every time they call me that, wahaha)…but after the first quarter I got a hang of it, i was able to win over my fear of public speaking, I was able to see the real picture, I was able to learn their “culture” (which is far too different with mine, naman kasi…wala na yatang kasing babaliw pa sa kulturang peyups)…anyways, my profs in college curse in front of us whenever we get stupid, or when we give them dim-witted answers, or we do foolish stuff like copying the figure from our notes, hoping that we’ll get partial points for it but instead this is what we got:

my super genius quantum chemistry prof: “mga taga UP pa man din kayo, ang tatanga niyo, and f*ck, you even copied the figure I gave you, do you even understand what it is? Do you want me to take off my shoe and spank you? Do you want me to send all of you back to kindergarten? Get out of this room, you, s*ckers! “

Uh huh, they curse you and say nasty things to you when they know you can’t curse back (uh, well you can, actually, haha, sa isip mo, especially when they ask you to solve a multiple integration problem, nakanampuch!!!)…well anyways, going back to teaching and cursing,uh,I’m not proud of it but I did curse a lot in class last sem… it was just like an expression, especially when I’m talking nonsense already (tae na, ano na pinagsasabi ko?!) and then my students will just laugh and say, haha, madam an ngimot mo! (translation: yang bibig mo, ma’am)…haaay, embarrassing, haha! I don’t know, sometimes I just forget that I am not living in the same crazy world that I used to…I also forget that I am not just jen. I am ma’am jen. Ma’am. Bigat. Nyay. Katakot. Nakatingin kasi lahat. Naririnig ka din ng lahat.

So there, I tried my best to stop cursing. (Well at least not in front of my class). But second sem came…this sem is totally different…some of my students are not like the first batch of kids that I had… maybe they are also the bunch of kids who aren’t pleased to have me as their instructor…or maybe they are just a bunch of jerks and b*tches that would really get into your nerves and let you curse again like hell…but then again, I am ma’am. i shouldn’t be taking things personally…I can’t please everybody, yes, and for pete’s sake, i don’t go to school just to please them…I go to class to feed their bratty minds with variables and terms and electron configurations and forces and laws of motion. All those shit. If they don’t want to see me, then maybe they should start filling up their dropping forms… whether they like to learn or not, I will teach. if they bitch around, I will kick their dumb asses and curse.

Naah, things aren’t like that…haha… (uh, maybe, for a while pala nangyari at naramdaman ko yan, maybe nagwawala lang hormones ko that time. haha immature jen.) hmp,but usually, I spoil my students…they listen, they learn, we laugh, we have fun, they curse and I laugh. Hay. I am ma’am. I don’t curse in class now. no more cursing for jen….. Uhh….F**k, why not…?

(Sign out.)