Dear, World. Love, Jenny.

Jedi thoughts, MD diaries and Random geekiness

Category: crazy stuff

SHING SHING SAYS THE SABER. — January 29, 2012

SHING SHING SAYS THE SABER.

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It’s been a while that I guess I am deluding myself, or should I say I am hurting myself again with thoughts that border on pain and breathing space. Maybe this is the world that I create many times over, different and new every time, except that now, I don’t put much options or real possibilities in the picture. In this world that I design and re-invent, there are always passageways which eventually lead to a dark room.
Yeah, yeah, this is just me. I am funny. Miserable me is funnier. Realizing this makes me feel that there is something about the person that I was, that I miss now. And for the lack of words to describe what it is I am longing, I just want this moment to find me well — that is all I could really aim for now, to be well.

Not just for myself.

But most importantly for that Mushy Jedi who comes inside the dark room I repetitively construct, and makes everything turn from well, to safe, and then into a world where there is beauty, sincerity and passion again.

I need just a little bit of time.And then, no more of that scared kid who pulls the wool over somebody’s eyes. I need not to be afraid. I know, I believe so.

Now i get up and write on the dark room’s wall: monsters appear only when one is without a love-powered lightsaber.

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photo: http://www.zoonar.com/photo/kid-enters-a-dark-room_1665423.html
M&M’s TW #3 — August 28, 2011

M&M’s TW #3

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This wont be the wildest of characters, not even close to wild, but i guess i want to be THE BOSS (which right now would probably happen in my wildest dreams). haha. :p 

 

For one day i still want to be just me only that i would be the one who makes decisions. i would be the controlling element. i would be in-charge. 

 

On that day i would still go to work, on a scratch pants and comfy tee that has a print that says “you can’t fire me” (and everybody probably knows the shirt is right); and i’d give “jen-who-wasn’t-the-boss-before-and-after-this-day” the biggest promotion of her life, which is becoming the real boss. i’d sign the paper, make sure the promotion becomes effective after a day.

 

After making sure “jen” would be fine after that day, i’d do the same for those who deserve it, and replace those who were just lousy bad asses in the office.

 

So that next day, when i would switch back to myself, i’d get the promotion and be (yeah) THE BOSS — and from then on i can do good, i can challenge myself, will never get fired, earn righteously, do the things i really like while i do work, and i could nicely ask my employees to help me get the work done so i could go home early and just cuddle up with you probably know who. 😀

 

 

AY ANG BOLPEN — October 22, 2008

AY ANG BOLPEN

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Sa dinami-dami ng tsinetsekan ko, bakit ngayon pa nagtae ang bolpen ko.

Hay naku, wala ng ibang bolpen na iba dito puro mongol # 2 at jumbo mongol lang. Wah. Hmmp.

Nung bata ako….hmmp…uh, sinubukan kong sipsipin ang dulo ng bolpen (ahahaha). Sabi kse ng kaklase ko, ganun daw gawin ko para tumigil pagtatae. Ay gudlak. Di naman natigil. Sipsip lang ako ng sipsip. Wala akong pakialam nun kung nakakalason ba yun (ni hindi nga sumagi sa utak ko ‘yun hahaha), mas inisip ko kung pano titigil ang pagtatae ng bolpen ko. Hmmp….

Pero may natutunan ako dun…

3. wag maniwala sa kaklase ng basta-basta lang. minsan, kahit di namamalayan, ikaw ay maaaring mapahamak….hahaha.

2. ganun din, wag uto-uto. Ang gustong magtae ay magtatae. (wag ka umepal at mangsipsip ng nagtatae).

1. mas masarap po ang blue ink kesa red ink kesa black… J

One Response to “AY ANG BOLPEN”

*elai (October 27th, 2008 2:46 am)
hahaha! ginawa ko din yan! pero feeling ko pare-parehas lang lasa ng tatlong ink. pano ko nalaman? hindi ko talaga alam, kulay itim lang natikman ko. ahaha. feeling ko lang nga. ilang beses ko din ginawa un. tama ka. wala ngang nagyari sa bolpen. nangitim lang dila ko. kalokohan! ahahaha!

JUST A CRAZY THOUGHT — July 28, 2008

JUST A CRAZY THOUGHT

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I have a thought today. Hmm. Ok, maybe the “teacher” genes are really expressed in me… Uh, I’m not saying that I am a very good teacher, I wouldn’t know. I don’t trust those instruments for qualitative evaluation of teaching effectiveness. Though it says” very satisfactory”, I really don’t know. It was just a piece of paper to me. Anyway, what really matters is when they (my students) learn something from me…….

these past months, I realized that I am not just ma’am jen, I am also master jedi, I am superman, or peter pan, or genie, or blue fairy or jean grey. I don’t know. This is my crazy thought….that by profession I am a math/chemistry teacher and at the same time I am somebody else with super powers (like Clark Kent and superman, that kind of thing)…crazy thought, yes, but it makes me feel good…that somehow, I inspire people in my own little way, that I am a source of strength for some kids, that I help heal some of their wounds, that I drive their pains away just by being there…ok, believe it or not, world, I can walk on air, I can do stuff like these. Fine, it was JUST ME …JUST ME….Sometimes, superheroes don’t wear costumes…sometimes they just take a form like ME.

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I’m going to write some of my superhero moments next time… As if, jen! (hahahahahahahahaha!)