This year taught me how to take NO for an answer. But it took me many cycles, many days of fighting off insecurities, arguing with my own thoughts, several episodes of being rude myself just to end up still having NO for an answer. It took me a dozen of months and 4,417 kilometers to finally understand that in life, when it says no — even if you exhaust all the ways to change it — you just take it. Maybe for someone like me who almost always gets what I want, this is something really hard to swallow. But I think I learned the lesson, even in a hard way. Now I understand that I shouldn’t be making expectations, more so not be disappointed if these expectations aren’t met — kasi nga, they shouldn’t be there in the first place. I learned how to be more patient, to let things be, to ask but accept any answer given even if it wasn’t the one I want to get or receive.

I also learned that sadness is constant, the same with happiness. I guess the real question here is who would you be sad or happy with? I realized that we should choose who we share our moments with. Because they say, life is short, so we have to spend it wisely or meaningfully. I saw who wanted to share their moments with me this year, and I am thankful for that. I am grateful for them sharing their own space, their balcony or rooftop, their coffee spot, their duty areas, their cars, their favorite food stall. From these moments, these experiences, conversations, or just staying still to pass time — these are the times when I learn something new from the cosmos, or about other people’s lives.

People kept telling me over and over again that I should know my worth. I don’t know how to tell them that I actually know what I deserve and what I allow to happen in my life doesn’t equate to me not really knowing or seeing my worth. It’s called making a choice. Choosing what isn’t ideal doesn’t mean I don’t give high regard to myself. Sometimes it only means me not being selfish, me making sacrifices, compromising, offering what might be best for others. I know that I should be taking care of myself, but yeah, to each his own.

I may say 2022 really taught me a lot of things, even made me close some doors to some things. Love, for example. Right now I don’t want to see, talk, or go out with anyone or be emotionally attached to someone. I lost faith for things like this. This love thing is probably not for me. No one ever stays, nothing really lasts. I told myself that I will not probably touch or go near this area anymore. It’s okay, I have had my own love stories.

Thank you for everything, ’22.