I spent the entire morning in bed. I don’t want to face the world, because I don’t know how to be present, especially at work.

My dreams are getting busier, darker again. Both my dreaming and working worlds are a mess.

Right now I feel like I am just an open tab, amongst the many tabs open in someone else’s life. Running in the background, being opened, being seen only when convenient or during breaks, never the main tab. Just there waiting to crash because it’s just left there, not stopped, not chosen, either.

If I were a writing, I want to be erased and be a blank page, and stay like that for a while. I don’t want to transform or be something else. I don’t want to inspire. I don’t want to cause anything or move someone’s thoughts or affect someone’s feelings. I just want to be bare. Unmoving. Existing, but not significant. I AM TIRED. So this is the kind of life I want for now.

I am at this point where I don’t want to go back, move forward or fly to any direction. I just want to be still — overwritten, insignificant.