I used to be not a happy person.

And these are what I usually do before: I come up with the belief that there is no such thing as happiness — that what we may only have are happy moments, and not happiness itself; I move towards breaking my heart just a little bit, although it has already been broken many times; I exhaust myself thinking when all the roads are filled or when all the world is a blank; and I feel lonely for loneliness itself.

Overall, I was not a happy person.

But life always has its way of telling me to lighten up and try to be positive about things. And once upon a time, life led me to you. Since then, I forgot or even felt like I didn’t know that I was angry and lonely about many things. Like all these things are vaulted in a part of my brain which I cannot open anymore because I forgot the numbers or even how to put them in.

From then on, having happy moments would let me believe the existence of happiness, yes, the feeling itself. Or sometimes even when nothing happens — like there isn’t a particular activity, no cracked jokes, no funny story, no teasing, no messing around, just you and me sitting beside each other, hands held, me looking at your face (trying to argue with what I see and look at but i didn’t or won’t) — there we are, left in our own secret spot of the planet, lucky to be having happy moments and at the same time proving that happiness does exist.

From then on, I became happy for happiness, whenever thoughts sparkle from emotions I get from you.

Thank you for showing me not to hold things that are negative, that hurts, that breaks my heart — this could probably be one of the greatest things you have done for me. I love you. I always do.

♥,
Jenny