today i took a bus for my ride home. and for the first time, my thoughts didn’t fly into random places or didn’t feast on things that are real but doesn’t exist in my life at present or even in my past. no day dreaming this time. no lip-syncing with the songs on my phone’s playlist (imagining myself performing in a band, in front of many people i really don’t know). i do that. i make a mental picture of things i want to do, and then i feel proud about myself. yes, i actually do ‘things’ like that. but not today.

today i held on tight to reality. for once i am not the attention deficit person who looks at the road and see it as a 2-dimensional map under a magnifying lens. today i watched the road and noticed its inconsistent make-up of alternating cement and asphalt. i saw the rice fields that turned into a piece of vast grassy lands which then served as a temporary stop for migratory birds. i saw the power lines,too. On ‘normal’ days i see them dancing, but today with them, i saw physics. i saw technology.

today i knew i was lousy in class. because today was just another trying to get by episode. i know life can be bitchy and harsh and sarcastic and all, but at the end of the day? the world would forgive it.

how about me?

[LOUSY].

am i?

oh well. then crucify me.