lately i’ve been wallowing into a lot of battle.

 i’ve never been afraid of getting sick. i get sick all the time so i got used to it, and i always think it’ll pass. i take a rest, have meds, then i’d feel better. but this time, i got scared. maybe because it’s taking a while before i really get well. and it feels different this time, how i feel so weak for days even if i take meds and sleep all the time. i feel like i’ve been ill for the first time. and it gives me a not-so-good-scary feeling. but then of course, i try not to think about it too much. because i know it wont help.

i’m also trying not to be too hard on myself now. i try to do things at work. i try hard to bring myself back on track. it’s the only way i know now — try hard. i just want to be me again. i don’t want to feel low anymore. and i’d be praying again. maybe He’d finally give me a poke and bring me back to how i used to be.

loads. lags.

it’s okay.

love is here. i’d be making faces at life again.