i don’t know if i’m on the verge of swimming into (shallow or deep?) depression already or if i’m going to lose my sanity now.

not exactly because i have chicken pox. it’s because what this pox is causing me.

i don’t care if i spent my last half-month salary for my meds, and i don’t care if im not going to earn another half-month salary because of having varicella all over me.

i dont care if i cant sleep well or eat or even chew my food because every part of me is blistered and im in pain for several days.

those things, i can endure.

what i can’t withstand is the fact that i’m missing a lot of things. because i can’t get out of this room. i’m all by myself the whole day. and it’s driving me insane.

im missing my classes, both as a teacher and as a graduate student.
i miss the early morning blades of sunshine.
i miss having coffee in school.
i miss lola and marichuy.
i miss matt.
i miss bubuy.
i miss uriel the fat kid.
i miss butthead.
i miss the padawan a lot.

those things, i dont know how much longer i can bear. i wish i’m well when i wake up tomorrow. i wish i can go outside already. i wish i can go to legazpi. i wish i can make cheeky happy again.

sigh. i miss you so bad.

how can i be sick and miss you this MUCH.
i feel like i am double sick. 😦